In The End
In the end, will it be exactly as we had expected,
or will it be entirely surprising,
or will it be both?
I don’t want to die in my sleep.
I want to jump off a cliff into Jesus’ arms.
I want to work at dying.
I want to participate in the process of letting go,
the ultimate surrender,
the final act of loving trust.
I look forward to that convergence of
deep sadness, hope, joy, and freedom,
enveloped in love and tenderness.
Notice I did not mention peace—
no resting on my deathbed;
total surrender is an active disposition.
And so as with all things future,
they begin in the present.
I have started to die as a way of living more fully.
Oh, surely I will be surprised,
God is much too creative and mischievous to forego that.
So perhaps exactly what I wish to avoid will be the gift
I will be offered—or just the opposite—
or in the end some of both.