A Heart Journey Through Lent

Graced I prayed for openness, courage and generosity not realizing that Jesus would be the one to manifest it.   Opening his heart, the world, his body and his spirit to me in ever new ways, expanding places I never imagined could exist.   Fearlessly welcoming me to deeper intimacy disregarding when I would accept,…

Sent Before Jesus sent us the Advocate, the Father sent the Spirit to him. While he lay lifeless in the tomb, the Spirit arrived, awakened him with love and to new life, and called him out to become the fullness of who he was created to be. The same spirit, the exact same spirit, is…

All Wrong Every one I have ever seen is wrong. Every crucifix has Jesus clothed. Surely this is inaccurate, as sure as it is more humiliating to be naked amidst the jeers, the badgering, the outright hatred, and the violence of heart that is fueled in mobs and deeply rooted in fear. Surely he was…

Generosity  It is dramatic to give your life for another by jumping on a grenade, pushing someone out of a bus’s path, expiring on a cross. Most times, the drama unfolds quite slowly, deliberately, over billions of moments … changing diapers, washing dishes, chauffeuring, going to work, doing without, holding a hand, cradling difficult or…

New Moon In the darkness there is possibility… for our dreams for what we cannot imagine for what we fear for what may break us open to death, to new life In the darkness we wait… for the reassurance for the phone call for the diagnosis for the message from God In the darkness we…

Betrayal As their eyes met, one felt shame, the other gratitude. One felt fear, the other love. One was horrified, the other relieved. United in the pain of seeing a loved one suffer.   Who wouldn’t give their life to save a most dear one?   When we imagine Jesus feeling abandoned and  crushed by…

The Woman with the Alabaster Jar As a young girl, and ever since, ever since, she had a problem with men and they with her. Never enough –  good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. Never seen as a person, much less an equal. Never heard, much less listened to. Never thanked, much less appreciated. Never…

Three Days Triduum can be the sacred time of the year when we pray for our Beloved Friend and Savior… that he will know that God is with him, that he will know that he is loved and cherished, that he be protected from doubt and fear, and that he will know most of all…

Sanhedrin If I admit that you are Beloved, that you are loved and accepted, as you are, unconditionally, then I must accept this reality about myself as well, and damn it, that’s just too difficult, just too scary. I don’t know what that door will let in or let out, how I will then be…

Blasphemer I spoke about God as if I really knew, as if I really knew the One, the One who is, who is unknowable. Oh sure, I can speak of my experiences of God, and those experiences tell me that God understands my limitations, that when I attempt to speak to God, God hears, that…

On the Day I Die Oh loving God, let the day I die be familiar. Let me recall at least one dear memory. Let me be present with at least one person who loves me. Let me feel you with me, Sweet Jesus, my friend. Let me surrender all to you, as I have begged…

Discipline It’s a spiritual discipline, to nurture an open spirit … to pause and notice how a very particular component of this world is loving you, what it is inviting you to learn, to grow,  to receive that you may share, like absolute beauty and wonder, or kindness, or gentle affection. These opportunity moments are…

A New Creation I didn’t create you to be grateful. I didn’t create you to praise me. I didn’t create you to be my hands to serve others or to fix what’s wrong in this world. I created you to share myself. I cannot be contained. I cannot be limited. I created you to enter…

Firefly Buddy I want to be a firefly buddy with Jesus. One among too many to count letting the light of God flow through them, and without that light, invisible, non-existent. Even one flicker on one evening is so precious, glorious. I would give up everything to love like that. I would have everything if…

Right to Die He was there when Joseph died. Word had reached him in time to return home, to be a consoling presence to his mother, his father, and those who would mourn his passing. It can be clear that there is a time for death, and this clarity comes through the graces of faith,…

Comfortable Clothes* Jesus wore comfortable clothes… sandals, a loose-fitting tunic, a beard, a smile, an uninhibited sense of humor, an aura of love, acceptance, and peace, an ease with kindness, generosity, and intimacy. Dear Lord, let your loving presence be at home in me … warm like the sun on my skin, bright like a…

Comfortable Clothes* Jesus wore comfortable clothes… sandals, a loose-fitting tunic, a beard, a smile, an uninhibited sense of humor, an aura of love, acceptance, and peace, an ease with kindness, generosity, and intimacy. Dear Lord, let your loving presence be at home in me … warm like the sun on my skin, bright like a…

Heretic  With heavy, silent tears he watched as the crowds rejected his precious gift, avoidance disguised in the form of praise and worship, misunderstanding shame and self-deprecation as humility rather than denial. Peter and Paul also raised friends from the dead. The woman with the hemorrhage was saved by her faith not the energy that…

Let Us Pray Spirit of Life, let us grow. Spirit of Love, let us embrace. Spirit of Hope, let us laugh. Spirit of Mercy, let us heal what is wounded. Spirit of Truth, let us be courageous. Spirit of Peace, let us be still. Spirit of Joy, let us cry. Spirit of Empathy, let us…

Another Hallmark Holiday   Many of us know that there should be another Hallmark Holiday, one dedicated to the caregivers of loved ones with chronic, degenerative diseases. Cards would express sorrow for our loss – loss of sleep, self-care, freedom and peace of mind, loss of the person we love though they remain, and expressions…

Because I Have Faith When my wife got sick and our lives were turned upside down and the freedom I had grown so accustomed to was gone, and when I had to watch her cry in pain and fear and suffering, because I have faith, I asked “Where are you in this situation, God?”  …

Original Sin What really is sin? Because I think of sex or pleasure, or wish for the welfare of my family and friends more than the welfare of those I see as different, those whom I fear, are these my sins? To wish I were different than God created me –  isn’t that the sin…

Possessed   There’s a little devil that takes up residence inside me, sometimes, jumps around and pokes me with a sharp stick just in the most painful spots, to set me off, releasing unkindness into the atmosphere, impatience, selfishness, inconsideration, like a little steam spouting from a tea kettle, it stings, and so I pray…

Easier It is easier to love the neighbor who lives on the other side of the earth, someone imagined who we have never touched, who will never touch us. Yes, it is safe to love a person we don’t know. And so it is with God, easier to love the God who is not rather…

Called Out There is a power in naming, and connection in knowing the name of another. So it follows that those unclean spirits were connected with Jesus, and that challenging them in truth and love, he empowered them to become free –  free of attachment, co-dependence, fear and hate. Free of self-loathing, hiding and shame.…

For an Older Audience Forty-five years later and I’m still hoping to be one of the Do-Bees (Do-Be). You know, from Romper Room. To be affirmed, to be accepted, to feel loved and interconnected with others. Yes, that’s still what I long for. I still desire to follow the rules, but now the rules are…

Yes Sometimes the most powerful prayer is “yes” and so, Dear One, that is my prayer to you. Yes that you may touch my hurt, the hurt so deep I’ve yet to face and feel it, the hurt hidden behind fear, fear of what is bound to come and what is yet to know. Fear…

So Far I have drifted so far from church that I have lost touch with the liturgical seasons and the markers that distinguish ordinary time. When was Pentecost this year? I miss wearing red and dancing/singing  in the flow of the Holy Spirit. I miss hearing the familiar readings and perhaps receiving a fleeting reinvigoration,…

Deeper I think about the woman at the well and how Jesus engaged her with dignity and respect, connected with her as an equal – fully human, fully divine, how he loved her freely and completely  with warmth, affection and endearment. I think about how Jesus loved his dear friend John, how he would stroke John’s hair as they…

The Student It took only a few days for him to become restless. There was still roast beef left over from the great party. And after the days and weeks wore on,  his ability to engage in the affairs of the family business waned, later and later getting into the fields, later and later staying…

Convergence If there is a place where kindness and criticism meet, surely it must be a place of love. We know Jesus criticized often, but was it only when provoked or did he initiate? Was Martin Luther King, Jr. kind when he shone a mirror on bigotry, hatred, and pervasive injustice? Can you recall an…

The Great Chasm Too often the great chasm is the fear that prevents us from becoming vulnerable. Reflection and Prayer The rich man’s friends and family most likely thought of him as a good and loving person. After all, he did want to protect his brothers from suffering the same fate as him. It is…

Savior I wouldn’t feel comfortable kneeling before a king, but I am quite at home tender touching an infant in the crib, for long, deeply sacred, silent night moments with angelic singing in my heart filling the room. Another mystery revealed… that surely God is a gentle presence, loving, connected, intimate, that God is not…

Careful Did you know that saying “No” is a way of saying “Yes” to something else, hopefully something better, leading to greater freedom, joy, peace, love, authenticity, and letting go a bit more of ego, attachment, honor, reputation and judgment? Did you know that doing less makes room for more of what God may wish…

Permission I give you permission to be both/and instead of either/or, masculine and feminine, black and white, rich and poor, hard and soft, grateful and angry (so angry you want to break something). I give you permission to burn the box that others try to keep you in (here, borrow my matches). I give you…

Needles Under suspended pine needles it is peaceful. Immersed in thick humid summer air I wait. I welcome God to speak, my heart to listen, to connect,  to become a bit more aware again. This unyielding force pushing us to more is not about us at all, rather we are the fruit, the expression, the…

By Association There is a woman in my life I find difficult to love.  When she comes to mind, I either cringe or feel nothing. Yet I have witnessed that her husband, whom I love, loves her truly. So I ponder what about her he knows, he sees, he loves that I don’t. Perhaps how…

Always The man at the coffee shop today could have been my brother, about the same age, build, demeanor. And the wonderings returned… Would I attend his funeral and if I did would it hurt his family? Would I be notified of his death? Would I say anything meaningful to him if there was a…

Again Believing Scripture, that when we abide in Jesus we will receive whatever we ask, I said, “Dear One, what request would please you most?” And quick and clear was his response. “Tell me again. Use this prayer to open your heart and your mind to receive even more of my love. Nothing could delight…

Repentance To truly repent is not to express regret for what I have done, but instead to believe that God loves me as I am. Acknowledging what I regret having done allows me to appreciate the reality of God’s love. Reflection and Prayer Revisit the prayer from Ash Wednesday. How are you receiving what you…

God’s Prayer Preparation: Sit or lie in a comfortable position. Allow yourself to become quiet. Place your hand over your heart and feel it beating. Allow your breathing to become  slower…and when ready, listen as God speaks the following words to you: I want you to be alive. I am the energy that makes your…

Could Be Could it be that the bad person does something good? Could it be that the good person does something bad? All in our judgment and perspective. It could happen. It has happened. It happens all the time. How disturbing it is to our sense of righteousness, certainly and security that the person we…

Nameless The most faithful member of our church is Satan. Never misses Mass. Attends every meeting. Fully engaged in every aspect of the community. He prefers to remain unnoticed, standing behind a pillar or in the shadows, not only in the sanctuary, but also our consciousness. We too often, too easily, unwittingly collaborate with him,…

Mission He could not remember a time when he did not know, really know deep and with certainty, that the mission was bigger than himself, more than he could ever accomplish, not his to own. He could not remember a time when he did not know that even the Christ had limits, needed the help…

A Year of Fasting This year I am giving up “should” and this will make more room to discover… God, my authentic self, my joy, that my burden is easy and my yoke is so light, that I am loved for who I am, period, that the risks of vulnerability and truthfulness are greatly outweighed…

The Conditions of Discipleship Luke 9:22-25 Annihilation I sank deep into love as in an oversized cushion and I emerged as a prairie, alive and restored, diverse and authentic, a home to many. And I found myself at one with all, the earth, the sky, the waters, the creatures, and the colors that shone were…

Teachings about Almsgiving, Prayer and Fasting Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18 A Holey Time Most days I invite a space, a hole in my day, in my life to listen, to be with God, to be with myself, to ask God “What is it you wish for this day, for this life you have created, that you…